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December 20, 2008
This Christmas Day, Santa Claus could deliver slimy green seaweed to every “naughty” child in the world. At least, that’s what one environmental professor would like to see.

Doctor Gerald Smith wrote to the North Pole.

“Dear Santa Claus, Please Go Green. Give the misbehaving children seaweed. It’s environmentally-sound, wholly organic, and decomposes without harmful residue. It also has the advantage of being yucky and totally disgusting. What better stocking-stuffer could you ask for the especially bad kids?” By Smith’s own estimate, Santa Claus might deliver 5,000 tons of seaweed kelp. He’s guessing the world has 10 million “naughty” children.