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August 1, 2009
How long did it take you to decide to eschew regular shoes in favor of neon green flip flops that have no business with that suit? How long did it take you to get your hair to look like you just rolled off your futon? How long did you fret over just how undone to do your skinny tie?

Look at you, slouching against the subway door, sighing as if you're bored by the morning routine that takes you wherever it is that allows a get-up like this, yawning extra-wide to make sure we see your tongue piercing. Oh, please.