January 23, 2010
I counted six beeps from my phone, charging in the other room, as I envisioned the floorplan of a friend's house. I was reading and the characters were having wine and Lasagna. They decided to play Monopoly afterward, sponging off the table as the dishes were cleared. I thought back to how different it was last time. Everything felt very formal and lacked the spontanaeity I'd grown accustomed to whether it was me guiltily concealing my hickeys, or reveling in the shared belief that anything was possible. I'm just never going to find it again if I'm looking for it.