February 2, 2010
He told me to use my considerable powers for good not evil, that I'd serve those who stumble across my words far better by creating a world of happyhappy smiling pink daffodil rainbows and froth than by bringing up the muck and yuck and the fuckity-fuck-fuck. I do no good by being bad! If I'd been guaranteed swift starfish-esque regeneration and an absence of pain, I would've sawed off my finger and given it to him, perhaps by carrier pigeon or Pony Express. But without such guarantees, I gave it to him through the computer monitor. Nice day, have a!