I feel my age now like never before. I hesitate, pause. Time means something to me. My body has changed a lot in the past year—I cannot abuse it with the same abandon I used to. Sleep matters. What I eat matters. I am careful. I look before I take a step. I watch other people more. I am a people watcher. I look at facial expressions, at the size of pores, feet, and hands. I stare at how others fix their hair, how they stand and dress. They stare back at me. I'm no longer in my head.