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July 2, 2010
My issues with my father and absent mother (her death) have created the sad me that has hovered behind my eyes  - for as long as I can remember.

I've played at being independent but looking at my life full on, I realize I never was.  How angry i was (continue to be!) that he injected himself into my life with his dictatorial thou shalts. I expected him to bail me out, however! Why didn't I take over? become independent?  turn away from him long ago?  Ahh, this is then is the mystery.