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September 20, 2010
Dear Mark Zuckerberg:

Because of you…

my mother e-stalks me 24/7, leaving hundreds of messages reminding me to drive safe, fly safe, walk safe, breath safe…

I nearly drove myself insane during an epically bad break-up by constantly checking the ex’s status to see if he would post about the other girl, which he eventually did, luckily after I had decidedly stepped back off the ledge.

I’ve obtained massive hangovers from concerts/parties/benders I may had not otherwise suffered if I’d not been swayed by the list of friends who had clicked “Attending”.

my work productivity hovers around 37%.

Love, TT