Sometimes, I feel like I’m missing the point of life. What if I were a merchant in the floating world of Edo? Would I be living it up, using my wealth for drink, entertainment, geishas, and soaking up the transitory pleasures? Would it be a bad life to work hard, play hard, and live with an awareness of limitations?

I guess I’m missing that stability and centeredness that the old Confucian world order promised; it’s unclear where I fit into things. Relationships are muddy. I can count on family, thankfully. But beyond that, everything is murky and in constant flux.