The boys in my life are sweet. I got holiday well wishes from my guy pals, some of whom I haven't talked to in a while. I feel rather loved. I don't know why, but my girl friends and I are just not affectionate like that toward each other. Maybe I should be the forward one and send them a note? I need to make more of an effort if I want to keep my friends. I need to make more of an effort in general, with my family, with myself. These last few days have been murky and messy.