But the number of times I have written about my amazement is a testament to how much I learned in that process of writing...just banging out words without knowing where the hell I was going. I am so, not proud, but happy that I didn't turn away from the challenge as I have with so many things that scare the hell out of me. The thing with NaNo is that you have complete freedom to write utter crap if you want to. You could write 50,000 words of nonsense and it would not matter. I needed that freedom.