Although they all seem equally viable options, there are some issues. To retain the interest and meaning, a) would have to keep occurring every few months. If this happened however, a) would lose it's novelty, and I would likely become blasť. b) seems impossible nowadays, with the lack of traditional rum-drinking pirates on our seas. I don't fancy joining the Somalis. Unfortunately, I am unlikely to meet Simon Amstell and subsequently convince him into marriage/becoming my best friend (although I can tell we would get on remarkably well). As for f), there is frankly no hope.