All right, so I watched the last four episodes of Oprah's show -- including the two with surprise celebrity guests/friends/sycophants who apparently couldn't speak from the heart (Hi, Katie Holmes! How's it hangin', Madonna?) but robotically recited poorly-worded tripe from a teleprompter and an excruciating rendition of "Amazing Graze" by a scarily sleeveless Aretha Franklin that took about five over-the-top minutes for the one verse that was televised -- and I must say, I did have an "a-ha moment" -- the one when I realized that, yes, no matter what, I'm still not buyin' what she's sellin'. O, so sorry.