From here on out, everything  changes. I change. First with half of one, then with one, then with two, and before you know it I’ll be a completely new person and I’ll be composed and articulate and calm and know what to say, when to say it and how to say it. I’m scared, only, of losing myself, of becoming a shell of who I was, all that stereotypical crap but really, yes yes I am afraid, so terribly afraid! Which is why I’ve put it off so long, which is why I’m now here, barely able to hold on.