March 2, 2013
I spent the day lying on the floor and memorizing the details on the ceiling. Thinking of you. Thinking of what else to do to get a job. Thinking of all those times I said something and did I mean it. There is no respite when one is bent on thinking negative thoughts. It will all spiral down into a bottomless pit. There isn't even a tear that comes out any more. I was thinking of you and I was hoping I can know how to stop thinking of you. I was going to ask for help, but just cried.