I should get some more help. Not opioids because I'd be using them multiple times a year and possibly become dependent. I've been thinking about counseling – learning how to strengthen my mind against pain, a mind over matter approach. Unfortunately, I have received loads of crappy counseling in the past (one woman randomly asked if people thought I was black… I mean, the fuck), it's expensive, and it uses up precious time. Also, my parents think I can fight the pain without it. They've never seen me crying on the bathroom floor though. (And they never will.) Tramadol to hell!