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November 15, 2015
3/14/1971

Dear Future Jodi:

Today a fellow named Don McLean debuted a song named "American Pie" at Temple University when opening for Laura Nyro.  A little more than a decade after your graduation from that school, you will have a boyfriend who "sings" it in its endless karaoke entirety at a shindig at the home of your friends on Manhattan's Upper West Side.  You will want to stab yourself in the ears with a Dixon-Ticonderoga No. 2 pencil and gouge his eyes out with a rusty grapefruit spoon.  Please do not.  Break up with him immediately instead.

xoox,

Li'l Jodi