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September 3, 2016
"You bought me knowing I don't whistle," my tea kettle says. "So what's your damage?"

I know, I know. I tell the kettle I bought it specifically because it's authentic vintage from the '70s and that it's awfully cute and that the graphics decorating its perimeter are just the right blend of charming and whimsical without trying too hard.

"Don't say, 'But still,'" the kettle says.

So I don't.

The kettle doesn't know I have a certain talent for burning boiling water, and I don't dare frighten it with that information.

Instead I simply say, "You know what? You're right!"