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January 27, 2002
I choose to take the difficult path personally and refuse to let him off the hook this time. He keeps showing up in my life, unannounced as it were, and then by vanishing unexpectedly, wreaks havoc with my equilibrium. I've only been convinced of the absolute rightness twice, and this is one, for all the good it has done me. Truthfully though, I have little substance on which to base this particular judgement.
So I knowingly play with explosives tonight as I write, trying to set fire to his memory, to provoke him into real action, for better or worse.