January 29, 2019
I am anxious about everyday things: walking, talking to people, eating, commuting, entering our house, working. 100% of the time I'd like to believe I've learned to deal with it -- except for the 10% wherein I'm completely immobile and just...dumb. Years ago I figured out a way to function normally without causing myself to go into an overdrive of sweats and palpitation. That is, to pretend I'm calm. I've mastered it. Only recently it seems to be turning against me. The calm is causing me to completely shut down. Anyway. I'm thankful for people who are patient and consistent.