January 2, 2019
My favorite memory: Last month at Bullet's birthday party, Brysen was uncharacteristically calm and quiet. At some point, he inserted himself under my right arm as if he needed shelter. Then he settled on my lap, slack and seemingly tired. During games, he stayed like that and just observed. This kid seldom comes near me for a cuddle. Often, when I try to hug him, he'd wriggle away. So these few minutes when he sat with me -- my hand on his chest, his heart beating fast, his tiny hand on mine -- I (am crying). My little candy-sprinkled cinnamon doughnut.