April 19, 2019
It still takes me by surprise how easy and necessary I find it to disrespect my parents, my mother especially, when I'm "not in the mood." There's shame, anger, guilt. But for a few minutes I hold on to whatever feeling it is, like it's something I've been deprived of for so long. Then, as I become aware of my asshole-ry, I devise ways to apologize. I will feel more guilt when Papa or Mama shrugs it off. "Wala yun, sorry din." And I exhale in relief, oh I was worrying for nothing! But was it really nothing though?