November 5, 2019
My propensity to ruin a good thing is clawing its way up. I try to keep it down but there are days when I'm overpowered. We only have to conquer ourselves, yes? Sometimes I can't conquer myself. Need to work on that. "Don't be a dick" 100x I say to myself throughout the day and at 11:59 p.m. I give in to the desire. I see traces of my mother in me. I am becoming her. And I understand how my younger brother feels toward me, because that is how I feel toward my mother. Loving, hostile, loving.