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December 11, 2019
He'd like to think he's living a routine life now. This has been his fantasy. The same day every day. Habits, clockwork, exactness, familiarity. Knowing when he gets to be happy and knowing when he gets hurt. Knowing how to react, knowing how to feel. Knowing. Just knowing. In the past, it's the not knowing that made life difficult. Surprises are unwieldy, they can weigh you down for an indefinite amount of time. He fears the unknown. Here in this new place, new life, he lives the same day everyday. This is safe. This is wishful thinking. This isn't real.