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March 26, 2020
I'm so glad you're all going to not only teach yourselves Japanese but be fluent enough to converse with the master sushi chefs you'll be hobnobbing with when restaurants reopen and you need employment and are confident Nobu will hire you thanks to YouTube tutorials that taught you to roll your own using the mat you made from stuff you found when finally Marie Kondo'd your closets. But don't come crying to me after this horror is in the rearview mirror and say, "Gosh, I'd kill for some time off just to lie around and watch Netflix and eat cookies."