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March 29, 2020
All these immortal mavericks, these scofflaws, these champions of freedom and personal rights who think it's okay to congregate on porches, on patios, in the park, on Park Avenue, to be out and about having the times of their lives, hashtagging it with utter balderdash such as "LivingOurBestQuarantineLife", grinning on social media like they fucking invented teeth need to be invited to hightail it to a huge-ass CoronaStock2020 on a luxury cruise ship, and once at sea, realize they'll never be seen again, because, gosh, there's no WiFi. This will make the Titanic look like a deflated dinghy. Ahoy, motherfuckers.