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May 29, 2020
If you can truly manage to still be offended by the word "fuck", especially in these recent horrific days, you need to ease the fuck up on clutching your pearls so hard lest they snap clear from your neck, fall to the floor, and you trip on them and fall to the floor as well, really fucking yourself up. If "fuck" can get your tits in a tizzy that easily, please, for the love of fuck, get a grip, on those pearls and beyond.

(Note to the "Tell me how you really feel" brigade: Zip it. Fuck off. Etc., etc.)