I was so engrossed in my book that I entered the train carriage without due care and attention. It was packed with drunken Millwall supporters en route to Selhurst Park. I realized my mistake just too late to avoid it, so I tried to become invisible as they screamed and bayed and tore up seats and made monkey noises at the black station guard; threw bananas at him (I kid you not). I stuck it out with an increasing sense of... not fear, more resigned incredulity and disappointment.

These days the whole world feels like that train carriage, pretty much.