I haven't felt quite this bereft in... years? I don't know. I feel lost, edgey, alternately sick and teary, nervous, wasted, hopeless, lifeless, meaningless, and a whole host of other adjectives that are, I'm certain, making me sound like an inexperienced teenager. I'm not either. The trouble is, I'm not certain *what* I am anymore. I look for importance, I don't find it, and as a result I fail to believe that I am. I have no choice but to write about it, at least stiltingly, because I have run out of ears that I can comfortably trust to listen.