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July 14, 2002
Bereft lost insane with jealousy over one day I will lose - Monday has been my lifeblood by philosopher's stone my teddy bear my one strength in a week of varying degrees of hell - whine if I must but I have not the right to ask to expect to feel slighted or abandoned - she who gives me every hour I ask for and takes nothing in return she who never blames never looks at me with accusing eyes she who asks for so little who gives so much and gets nothing in return she is my heart's wish.