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August 12, 2002
Let’s settle this argument once and for all, for all of geekdom. Attack of the Clones or Fellowship of the Rings? Well, Fellowship was nominated for a dozen Oscars; Clones won’t be nominated for anything. Fellowship had a better, more coherent plot; Clones’ plot jumps all over the universe. The acting in Fellowship never made you cringe; in Clones you wanted to beat Natalie Portman and Hayden Christiansen with a tire iron. Fellowship had dialogue that sounded poetic and appropriate; Clones sounded like it was written the night before by tenth-graders.

Then again, Yoda wielding a light saber. Case closed.