August 20, 2002
My parents say I was a horrid baby. I cried all the time. By “all the time” I mean I cried continuously from about nine months to three years old. Because I cried so much, my dad had to find creative ways to shut me the hell up. One time when I was three, sitting on the sidewalk miserable and grumpy, my dad pointed to the ants crawling on the ground beside me. "If you don't stop crying, they'll bite you and kill you." I stopped crying in sheer horror. I haven't cried since. You know, because of the ants.