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November 13, 2002
I alternate between believing life is a zero-sum game, and believing some people are chosen for charmed (or cursed) lives. You can look at my life as a series of ups and downs, which eventually even out to an “average” life. Or you can say I’ve always had it made, and that things have always worked out for me.

I can’t tell whether or not the perfect life I have now is a result of sadness growing up, or whether it’s the result of choices God made for me before the start of the world.

Either way I feel guilty.