December 24, 2002
This dull ache in my head wants to linger. I snuggled deep into all the blankets and pillows, drugged, searching behind my eyelids for one pinpoint of cobalt blue light that could possibly grow and cover over this persistent pain. I sent the pseudo revelers on their way. I awoke to blessed silence, the pain slightly receding now, but not quite finished with me yet. I thought of you as I made my Christmas Eve dinner, boiling eggs (perfect this time), dry toast, and juicing fresh citrus fruits. I’ve never been alone Christmas Eve before. It doesn’t feel like Christmas.