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datedatememberrandomsearch

December 28, 2002

foreign it was all very foreign we were foreign and he loved--no he talked about and the only one back then that did now that I think about it my father who had killed himself as if it were a real thing with real leftovers and as if just the same he had been a real person and that the painmessanguishdespairdesparation of it all was beyond the reach of simple judgement/understanding he got the point of view thing too, though he much more identified with my dead father... than I...not to say me...but I don't know that for sure