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December 9, 2002
I’m in London today -- actually, Chelmsford.

Things that have caught my attention:
- When you order bacon and eggs, they actually serve you HAM
- The London Sun (equivalent to USA Today) is basically mainstream porn
- This whole backward-side of the street driving actually makes sense
- They really do say “cheeky bastard” a lot
- Tea is actually an established religion here

Listen here, Chelmsford, the correct pronunciation of schedule is “SKED yool” not “SHED yool”, you tea-drinking, backward-driving, porn-loving cheeky bastards. And when I want ham, I’ll order HAM.

Sorry, it was a VERY long flight.