December 10, 2002
There comes a point in every epic quest or crusade when one realizes that victory simply *can not* be attained with clean hands. A decision has to be made, then: to turn back, and maintain one's integrity, at the cost of the goal that once seemed of primary importance; or to dirty one's hands deliberately in a good cause, in the manner of one's choosing, to reach success. Either way is fraught with regret and self-doubt ever after. "What if I had followed through and succeeded?" "What if I had stayed true to myself?" Of course you can never know.