I think I want to be a kitten. Everyone who meets you instantly loves you, anyone who wants to play with you, pick you up or cuddle you, will. You can find contentment in a ball of string, purpose in a crumpled receipt or even a playmate in your own tail. At night there's plenty of people to curl up and purr loudly on, who'll gently scratch your scalp as you doze. Your only dreams are food, play and sleep, and not one of them goes unfulfilled. Surely crapping in a plastic tray in public is pennies for all that?