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April 30, 2003
I spent much of my life thinking life wasn’t that much. As a child and as a teen, there was always this running undercurrent of unhappiness in me – that I was living life more as a reflex, like breathing, than as a purposeful occupation. At a cost I knew I couldn’t pay, but at a cost God knew I had to pay, my life has stabilized. I have stabilized. Now life for me is the means and not the end, and like coming out from under drowning’s embrace, every breath is a joy and not a reflex.

I am alive.