The president has monkeypox, or so my almond-shaped eyes whisper as I perchance upon Bush Jr.’s image online. His pouts, grimaces, cranial structure, and close-set eyes reveal themselves as splendidly simian, and I’ll not even grouse around his politics…

Regarding monkeypox, why don’t humans ask the important question? Surely, as a member of the Felidae contingent, I’m frilled with bias, but prey tell, why are pet shops selling “exotic” animals like the Gambian Giant Rat which, according to internet news sources and Ask Jeeves, brought the disease here? Pardon me punks, but why are humans selling any animal at all?