Who is this Harry Potter? And if I poodled books about a boy with noxious glasses who flits with goblets, would I ginsu millions? No. For the Potter books are simply 2003’s Cabbage Patch Dolls. Humans quack “Harry Potter is so cool! I have to have this book now!” and millions follow (consider, also, SUVs). I plan to concoct and hatch a million-cat march on Washington to brourahrah against Cabbage Patchism. I also plan to foosball a letter to J. K. Rowling (Potter author) as I’m certainly certain that big money is jihading her bank accounts. Maybe she can help?