My puffin woes are amassing a Sasquatchian hairball in my gut that’s being blowdried by discoveries I’ve made about mainstream press. Apparently U.S. reporters were embedded, like ingrown toenails, during the invasion of Iraq (whiff whiff, I smell a Gambian Giant Rat). Next, I discovered that the media refrained from projecting images of dead Iraqis lest the American public get perturbed, possibly gargoyled. Well Schlitz, and pray tell, did the public think the army was line-dancing at a bake sale in Iraq? Oh woe, perchance this is why I am so fumigated lately… Apparently most humans don’t think very much.