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July 9, 2003
I am a walking contradiction in terms. I am incredibly confused, yet see things more clearly than usual. I have a strong sense of time running out, things are falling apart, yet I am far calmer than I generally tend to be. I almost feel the way I usually feel when there is something new to look forward to on the horizon…but if there is, I don’t know what it is. I keep surprising myself by remembering I’m in a dry spell…Thursday night aside as we know that was a temporary diversion. Within this silent panic I’m perfectly all right.