Can I help it if I don't like being left out? That you are always first with my ideas? That I am ok when it's you and me, but when we add the outer world I disintegrate? Can I help it if the memory of all my losses hides …barely …waiting for the slightest trigger? Can I help it if your independent ways remind me of the fact that I am dispensable, unneeded, or convenient? Can I help it if I wish you would see me when you look at me? You trigger this paralysis and live happily on …oblivious.