New best friend wanted. We are looking for someone who keeps promises, does not treat others like a convenient accessory, and can fulfil a promise to attend the simplest of social events arranged weeks in advance without cancelling at the last minute. Atmosphere of compromise with my diary commitments and not just yours essential. Applicant must be proficient in both highbrow and Heat Magazine-esque conversations. An ideal candidate is one who does not sever all contact as soon as something in trousers with a floppy fringe appears. Smoker preferred but not obligatory. Part time heavy drinkers only. No timewasters please.