April 4, 2004
And perhaps I'm being just being selfish- but I'd like to think that's not really it- see, I don't want this for me, per se, I wanted it for the children. Knowing these relatives was a good thing in my life- and I want good things for them- I want them to have it better than me. And already I've allowed them to be deprived of this chance. By giving in, by letting it go, I've let something be taken from them- a thing they should have had. And it really, really bothers me. Eats at me. Tears at me.