Bravo! Tonight President Cowboy held a primetime news conference. OooLaLa! A whopping third time in 3 ½ years! I had to wear my mother's sunglasses so as to shield my eyes from the president's psychedelic tie - a fashion faux pas that I heretofore thought only a boozed-out frat boy might make. The tie looked alive. The president didn't.

Dubya and Condi are like friggin' and frac. They spew lots of stir-fried canarsie. After 25 minutes I squished on my earplugs, for the less I see or hear from the Littlest Evangelical Cowboy, the less likely I'll suffer a meltdown.