Did I tell you of the Shevardnadze's? Not to be confused with the Georgian President, this was L'il Bouzzini's gang of neon, plastic, child monster thingees. I shan't bushwhack your night's sleep with tales, but suffice to say their antics would make Scarface blush.

After graduating, L'il Bouzzini suffered a meltdown of sorts and became a gangsta. Then, after hearing my dance hits he tripped further down that long spiral staircase and, using the Shevardnadze's as background vocalists, wrote the song "Don't Mess With My Chomps, Elysees."

And yes, it flopped like a cupcake without yeast, or Santa without Rudolph.