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July 24, 2004
All those stupid octopus references people make about guys and girls in cars parked in secluded areas notorious for makeout sessions. That's what Steve hates.

"He had eight hands!" some fakely chaste girl says on Sunday morning about Saturday night's date, who actually did get his two hands full with a minimum of protest from her.

Steve doesn't hate that the squealing girl pretends to be coy. He hates that she's giving his species a bad name. He'd like to give her eight fingers (the middle ones!), but that wouldn't help his reputation, either. Still, it sure would be fun!