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July 24, 2007
I walked out onto my patio today and observed my ridiculous, but comical patio furniture--a large wooden table and toddler chairs I was so fortunate to receive from my cousin when I moved into this place. But like razor-blade memories, everytime I am out there I see him sitting in the first chair outside the door, having a smoke with me--sizing me up with those intelligent, care-free, baby-blue intelligent eyes. Now I sit where he sat, overlooking my fountain, because I have no one to accomodate now. Truly, when he was here, I was outside my apartment looking in, out.