Some days it gets driven so hard home to you that you will spend your life alone, without real affection, without real comaraderie, without connection, without simpatico, without anything that other humans seem to come by so readily. I know I make things harder on myself by virtue of the person I am, but why does it have to be this hard? What's worse is watching the simpatico and closeness between people I wish I were closer to, come so easily, and I have to struggle for every crumb. I feel so isolated right now, so unloved, and so trapped.